Sturdy metal office desk. You might make a million dollars working at this desk - or you might not, but the desk won't let you down. Guaranteed to hold 500 pounds; unfortunately here in the US we use dollars, not pounds, and its pretty heavy to ship to England.
Next, 2 beautiful filing cabinets, or at least they say that to each other, since they paired up a few years back. You might disagree, but they don't care what you think. They are used to being used, so I suspect they are masochists, and they don't talk back to you either, since every place they've ever worked it was like that. Also sturdy metal.
Canon TS 9520 color printer. Its has a big appetite - can even print tabloid 11"x17" paper. Not to many printers will do that, but it won't complain at all about your tiny boring 8 1/2" x 11" paper or anything smaller. If you are interested, contact me first before you drive over, because I have to unpack it and make sure the print heads aren't clogged from it lazing around instead of printing for the last few months. It makes beautiful prints, tho the filing cabinets it sat on don't seem impressed - they mostly kept to themselves.
Oh yeah, there are 2 wicker chairs, but they don't have anything to do with the other four, because the others don't think they are that beautiful. They are built for comfort, not speed. You might relax so much that you don't want to get out of them, which is just fine with them. Oh, about the talking - yes, they all might do that, but they act dumb when I'm around. So I've actually never heard them talk, take your chances on that. Their kind of office talk is a different language anyway. Also the last guy told me they were liars, so maybe you are better off if they are as silent with you as they were with me.